Sundance weekend

Things comes by fast when you are constant in motion. At least for me. This week got filled with interesting things that filled my head and yet I failed to capture it. After coming back from Sundance weekend in Utah, I can finally stop and remember. Snowboarding was great. Went to Park City and Canyon. I like condition in Park City, but Canyon had more trick runs. A good mix of the two day. I just wished I could of joined them for Snowbird. I heard that is the best in Utah. This time I had to challenge myself to another level, maybe not another level, but more of a step up. Got the chance to meet a few more people from K's and V's group. A bunch of people from different parts of US, different profession, and different age. They were great people and the weekend went by too quickly. We saw downtown Park City and got right into the heart of the festival. Places were hard to get into. Got confronted by bunch of racist people making racist comments that I was ready to throw down with. Aside from that glitch, we celebrated at a bar with wonderful pictures, stories, and pitchers of beer. I didn't want to go home. It was nice to finally forget everything and just react to the moment. It is ironic my very own nature of consistent thinking and thoughts are what probably stress me the most. Can it be that I am my own victim?

Back to the weekend. I find myself often in a cross road of whether I should react to my curiocity. If I am interested in asking someone on a date, but yet that person is a friend of a friend, should I proceed? I often do not proceed further because I do not want to cause drama or even risk relationships. That hesitation led me to not pursue people who I would like to know more. Okay....got to admit that I may have a romantic fantasy side of me. Maybe in a way I like to find someone that is more magical than just me trying to 'spin a game'. I like to have less understanding of how things should be, but instead how surprising things got.

This weekend I sense that multiple people were interested in me. I feel lucky that I get to meet these people, but yet I also feel confused on what to do next. Some will make great friends, while other don't want just be friends. I don't want to perceive as a player. But sometime girls do not understand a guy may just want to be friends first. Me being that guy often get misunderstood as a flirt or a player. Rough being a guy. Being perfectly honest, I care about looks, not that it is the most important, but it is a starting point. Then of course that mental connection. So basically I wonder if I can never be satisfied with fining the 'One' because I made it so impossible for anyone to really fill that hole. Hmmm things to ponder about.

Stop and Go

I've been off blog for some time now. Looking back at my last entry it was a few months back. Tonight for some reason I got the urge to speak. Given it is 1 in the morning I think it is hard to reach out and call someone. So I am telling myself to keep at this blog thing, as sometimes writing provides a way for me to express what I often do not in speech. Million of thoughts flow through my brain each day. Maybe putting in writing can put some to rest. Let just hope so.

So for the last couple of months it had it's ups and downs. I often wonder how my life came to this point. Not what I planned and it never is. But yet I keep hoping. To be a little spiritual, if you can call it that, I wonder if the events that happened for the last couple of weeks were by some way an angel looking after me. I don't mean angel as the one that gives all the good things. But the angel that gives the bad to show what I need to learn and the angel that brings the good to cheer me up. Maybe it is a silly thought, but I call it angel because I don't know what it is. That was what I told myself before the end of 2007 is to be more positive about everything and admit that take as things come. What I don't understand is what I need to accept. Hmmm I just remember a few thoughts that I had in the past couple of months. I am going to go back.

Remembering NYE

Flashback on my NYE.....

I recall I wanted to make this year a turning point. I thought I put this in writing. Maybe I can come back and revisit what I've written.

I spent my NYE with some great people in Tahoe. Glad that I went up there and just get away from the memories of 2007. But I got to admit to myself, no matter where I go, it does not just disappear. But to get away maybe is somehow getting a second wind or that inspiration.

So here are a few things that I want to say I want to do in 2008. Let's hope I will not regret putting this:

1. Live to not ask why, but to just live.
2. Letting things go and remember to breathe.
3. Read more.
4. Find a better job or make my current job better.
5. Go after that PMP.
6. Learn to love myself more and be less afraid of things.
7. Experience the LIFE and not let my plan get in the way of today.
8. Improve my finances so that I can improve my net worth by 10%.
9. Try to open myself to people.
10. Find my goals before it is not a goal anymore.

Well here it is. I must say it is a little fluff. Does not follow S.M.A.R.T method, but hey it is my blog.