C to the "D" to the "H"

Cope.  If I were to sum up points in my life that were disappointing or just suck, I would say that is the magical mechanism.  People seldom understand the path that I've gone through and by no mean is this a sobering recollection or rant about how horrible my life is.  But this is really an examination of how we as human, decide to deal with things that just plain "sucks".  I later on came to understand this word when I had to deal with someone being an alcoholic.  To look back, the same word and its definition was catalyst that invoked the action taken to deal with how I gotten through many other things since my childhood.  From observing other people, that is also how I think they come to live another day. 

Irresponsible people in my life.  The act of making you feel less than a worthy human being.  The guilt of being born.  The disappointments of big events in life with no shows.  The missing support that is critically needed for a child to develop him or herself to the next stages.  These voids can be what breaks you or what make you stronger.  The fact is cope is really how we put our self back to a middle point where we can make a move.  I see cope is really not too far away from someone being a dope.  If you decide to move from "C" to the "D", you can easily become that informal, stupid and unresponsive person.  Some people decide to take the items that "suck", by coping (to deal) with less desirable outcomes in life.  While other people decide to move from "C" to the "H".   They decide to hope.  The decision to act and to look forward with desire or trust.  That person decided to cope (to make obsolete) by first cover the item that "sucked" and decide that more of the future is about what can not suck.  Either way it is how we as human decide to deal with those that did injustice to us. 

I am not here to say which one is right or wrong.  I just here to acknowledge that I decide to be happy and that I am to practice cope.  To at least be a point where I can choose.  I may not always choose the right thing every time time, but at least I am still able to make "THAT" move and things may not suck forever.

Super Fatty

Superman's only  weakness is Kryptonite.  It is the only thing that makes him feel so sick that he looses all that is in him.  He can be fighting villains or even have his head smashed against concrete, but nothing could ever make him feel so close to death to his soul as that green rock.  Regardless how small or what just happened before, the mere exposure of it will make him fall to his knees grasping for an escape.

So as a human being, do we all have our Kryptonite?  I know I have mine.  Do you forever run away and avoid it.  But every time when you open a box or a door or just whenever uncovered something will always grasp for a bit of air.  I often wonder if I can avoid my Kryptonite.  Is it possible?  In this world, doors will always open and be sure that annoying green thing may just be around the corner.

As a person I am disappointed at myself that I can hate my Kryptonite that much.  I am ashamed that I can not conquer what is so much a part of life, my life.  Kryptonite came from the same place where superman came from.  People are as much of you regardless how you avoid it.  So why can I not make it work, conquer that weakness?  To psycho analysis of myself, I have to say that it is why I have to always doubt the good.  If too good, then ruin the good.  Regardless what it is, it is a bit self destructive, because to look at myself I never can really allow myself to be at peace.  If it is bad, then I seek the perfect.  If it is good, then I seek chaos.  That is borderline the truth as to how I lived my life.  Sad it is.  But a bit true.  I don't deny it and therefore I can never really ever agree with people saying I am a nice guy or a bad guy.  I am neither.  Just a man trying to avoid Kryptonites.

Well tomorrow is another day.  You got to try to learn to fly.  Need to maybe find a better cape or bigger tights because the nurse called me a fatty.