Wow...it has been months since I blogged. Almost forgot I had an account. This weekend was the bachelor party. Just so happen during the month of April is also around the same time when my close friends get together annually. For the past 5 years, we planned our gathering around tax season simply because we all live very far from each other. We all once lived in the same city, state or even same country. Now we became ambassadors of Japan, India, Vietnam, US and Hong Kong. This time we got together for a bit of a different reason. To practice a ritual among guys where they send off the husband to be with a celebration of his final days of bachelorhood. Like one person put it, it is the end of a decade. What prompted me to blog is not to go into the detail of the weekend, but to put down my observations of this weekend. The first thing I notice is that time really passed by for all of us. I known these guys for over a decade. Life was much simpler a decade ago for all of us. Our worries and conflict were on how to progress our careers or to decide on how to save for the next big trip. We came together with simple thought of how to party hard or what clothes to wear to land a hot chick. A much more playful event and much simplier time. As time went on, the discussion changed and the residue that time left behind is evident among every one's actions, thoughts, opinions, and physical appearances. We are not young anymore. It is such simple statement, but with so many meaning. So many books and movies are written just about that sentence. The decision that we made 10 years ago and the decision that we made last year all slowly change our friendship. It's not for better nor for the worse. But it is that change that often leaves a bit of nostalgic feeling for me. Along with that feeling, a bit of uncertainty as to how long we are able to keep this annual ritual. With a very strange feeling and the thought that occupies me this entire day, was the realization about the silent acts of cruelty that time does to people. For some reason, I can sense the inevitable news about someone health problem, financial difficulties, or even worse a possible days of one of them permanently departing us. It is like looking into an oracle where you see the energy slowly dissipates and to be release back to the universe. As if that fuel that once contain within the body, slowly release to the abyss.
When I am young my number one fuel for me was the thought that whatever happens today, tomorrow I will make it better or the magical "next day" will make it better. As a young person, I am hopefully because the people, the attitudes, then environment is ever so encouraging. Less "signs of time" are put in front of you. Now with some sadness I realize time becoming more limited. By no means that the future is bleak. But that factor of "limited time" is approaching faster then ever. That feeling is like a cloud hovering over a color flower that despite its beautiful color, it becomes so difficult to display its beauty. The lack of opportunity to exploit its potential makes me feel sad. Now, as each of my friends make their way back to their daily life. Each catching their flights, each packing their memories, and return to the land they currently reside, I feel the conflict of being sad for unknowing how fast time is depleting and yet also feeling fortunate to be able to blog and feel sad about all this.
