I remember I blogged about this a year ago. My fears, my criticism, and just my observation. So who benefit from the bailout? So who continue to hurt from it? How much will people continue to allow themselves of the bias and close to propaganda writings that are out there. Imagine how much energy were used to build that perception and the creation of the Obama zombies.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100714/ap_on_bi_ge/us_bailout_watchdog_small_banks
I mean let's not look at the political party, not the color of his skin. If you were to judge him by what he has done what score would you give him? Now imagine if Bush did the same exact things, what points would you give him? So far the difference I see between him and Bush is really he is a better speaker. I am still waiting to see if he can can walk the talk. But the most that I am disappointed about is how the truth go hidden and how intelligent young American became the Obama zombies.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Manic Monday
Sometime you just don't know when nor you have enough time to know. I recently found out a friend lost her whole family during the July 4th weekend vacation in Arizona. Her mother and father were both killed in a car accident. The car rolled and a big rig smash the car into the wall. Her sister and cousin survived the accident, as the sister still remain in critical condition. She is now by her side with her sister as she prays for a quick recovery. What is sad about all this is that she is only 23 years old, with a kid and trying to be a part time student while working at the gym. I feel sad to see bad things have to happen to good people.
So I wonder what does one do when that happens to him. It is never an easy time for a person spiritually as well as financially when something that tragic occurs. But I think without going more details of what happened, you have to start thinking that life is about the unpredictable. You can never really ever say all you have to say when someone leaves. That is just impossible because it would be too much stress for any two parties when they have to do that every time they depart each other. Yet of course being human beings, we always wish we could of said more or do more. I think that is a natural reactive thought after something tragic. But I think the most important thing about all this, being this as incredibly simplistic, is to try not the think about what was lost, should have, or could have, but instead remember why you remember the time you spent with that person while he or she was alive. I believe when someone can have memory of an event or of a person, those memories are the bricks that builds that house that keep the spirit. In the same alignment that spirit feeds into a person's soul. Because of those correlations, as long as you have memory of that person, he or she will always be connected to your soul. That's why our soul evolve as memories are pour into it. So what is the bottom line? There is no if, should, or need. It is just about construction. The construction of you. That is why in most spiritual texts and religions, they always talks about how every human being must believe and do have a place in this world. Some leave a bit early some leave a bit later. But all are the construct of each other's soul.
***********
There are certain incidents that just make my skin craw. Yesterday, as we were waiting for our table seating, I saw a group of friends, probably in high school, waiting for a table. There was an out spoken girl who was Asian. She was definitely an extrovert with full of opinions that made sure everyone heard her. But what is annoying part of that encounter was her constant stab and making fun of herself as an Asian and being Asian. This incident is very common and happens all the time. I begin to wonder if there is any other race that would make fun of his or her own race like the way a lot of Asian do. I know you hear about racial jokes, usually done on stage, but for some reason Asians make it so public and with so little thought. I wonder why? As intelligent or intellectual human beings, don't you have something more to say? If other people can see the wrong in do such things, why not Asians? You often hear about Asian guys not having self confidence. In my opinion, any Asian who makes fun of Asians lack that self confidence. Ironically those are the same Asians who refuse to be with or date other Asians and call other Asian lack of confidence or boring. Man the oxymoron. Maybe just the moron. Anyhow, I was that close to give her my two cents about what she was doing.
So I wonder what does one do when that happens to him. It is never an easy time for a person spiritually as well as financially when something that tragic occurs. But I think without going more details of what happened, you have to start thinking that life is about the unpredictable. You can never really ever say all you have to say when someone leaves. That is just impossible because it would be too much stress for any two parties when they have to do that every time they depart each other. Yet of course being human beings, we always wish we could of said more or do more. I think that is a natural reactive thought after something tragic. But I think the most important thing about all this, being this as incredibly simplistic, is to try not the think about what was lost, should have, or could have, but instead remember why you remember the time you spent with that person while he or she was alive. I believe when someone can have memory of an event or of a person, those memories are the bricks that builds that house that keep the spirit. In the same alignment that spirit feeds into a person's soul. Because of those correlations, as long as you have memory of that person, he or she will always be connected to your soul. That's why our soul evolve as memories are pour into it. So what is the bottom line? There is no if, should, or need. It is just about construction. The construction of you. That is why in most spiritual texts and religions, they always talks about how every human being must believe and do have a place in this world. Some leave a bit early some leave a bit later. But all are the construct of each other's soul.
***********
There are certain incidents that just make my skin craw. Yesterday, as we were waiting for our table seating, I saw a group of friends, probably in high school, waiting for a table. There was an out spoken girl who was Asian. She was definitely an extrovert with full of opinions that made sure everyone heard her. But what is annoying part of that encounter was her constant stab and making fun of herself as an Asian and being Asian. This incident is very common and happens all the time. I begin to wonder if there is any other race that would make fun of his or her own race like the way a lot of Asian do. I know you hear about racial jokes, usually done on stage, but for some reason Asians make it so public and with so little thought. I wonder why? As intelligent or intellectual human beings, don't you have something more to say? If other people can see the wrong in do such things, why not Asians? You often hear about Asian guys not having self confidence. In my opinion, any Asian who makes fun of Asians lack that self confidence. Ironically those are the same Asians who refuse to be with or date other Asians and call other Asian lack of confidence or boring. Man the oxymoron. Maybe just the moron. Anyhow, I was that close to give her my two cents about what she was doing.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Air is thin at 12000 feet
I spent my day off preparing a few things as my OCD schedule dictates my schedule to wind down this month. This evening I begin my post mortem for the first weekend of July.
One is irony. Without disclosing my age, I had a recollection of my emotions in between the age of 3 to 7. That feeling of being an orphan was mainly from not knowing where my father was and my mother was away in the states. For some weird universal reason, I am left with being passed as responsibility to different people. Don't give me wrong, I am grateful my great grandmother and my grand mother were there for me during that time. But you spend your birthdays wondering where are my parents? A bit confused about the concept of family and most of all in a very weird way at that age you spent the nights question what is the norm. Now, decades later, I am planning to head back to Asia where I began my childhood and feel a bit like how I was when I was 6. The family is still in limbo, but at least this time I am going in my own terms. When I rode on the plane I smiled because irony kinda sneaked up on me. Maybe sometime life is not about the perfect picture. If an artist is to do that, then he really can't paint. Because life, like art is forever progressive. There is really never one picture, but instead it is how many time you pick up the paintbrush and how many paintings you decide to paint. Hmmm....something about flying, you don't really have much to do except to think. Maybe it is the oxygen that pump through the cabins that makes me think about paint.
Another interesting things is an article that I read about how now student have an option to go after an international baccalaureate curriculum instead of taking traditional AP classes. This program make student look at how the world is connected and stress on global education in literature, science, and history. In the article, one of the parents who oppose this program in high schools cited her reason because she felt it was un-american because the students are moving away from the traditional AP course which its focus on memorization and mainly US driven academics. To me this article along with many other events that is happening right now are indicators the world is shifting in a bigger way then anyone truly realize or would like to admit. The world is getting smaller and also it is getting more balanced. Information can flow anywhere and can get there so fast that it is now harder to get the truth. Not because there is less truths but because there is less bias. But the acts of getting the truth is hard because you can no longer just get from one source, but instead have to look at the macro information society.
Last interesting thing about this weekend. On Monday three things made me happy. One is a comment left by someone who sometime can just write the right thing at the right time. With that I feel very lucky to know that she exist. I just hope she does gloat just because I wrote this. But then again I have many written cards to show her friends if she does. Second the weather was great today. Sometime when I step out, like today the nice breeze with the sunshine just right and the air so clear that it just feel good to take a deep breath. Man I am going to miss this fresh air. Lastly, I saw the cutest kid on jeopardy. Something about a 12 years old kid with glasses wearing a business suit just make me laugh. I am amazed at how he spoke eloquently which exemplified how advanced he was compare to his peers and yet his suddle action you can still see the youthful 12 year old kid. That you got to say well, that kid's parent did something right and life brings promising people.
One is irony. Without disclosing my age, I had a recollection of my emotions in between the age of 3 to 7. That feeling of being an orphan was mainly from not knowing where my father was and my mother was away in the states. For some weird universal reason, I am left with being passed as responsibility to different people. Don't give me wrong, I am grateful my great grandmother and my grand mother were there for me during that time. But you spend your birthdays wondering where are my parents? A bit confused about the concept of family and most of all in a very weird way at that age you spent the nights question what is the norm. Now, decades later, I am planning to head back to Asia where I began my childhood and feel a bit like how I was when I was 6. The family is still in limbo, but at least this time I am going in my own terms. When I rode on the plane I smiled because irony kinda sneaked up on me. Maybe sometime life is not about the perfect picture. If an artist is to do that, then he really can't paint. Because life, like art is forever progressive. There is really never one picture, but instead it is how many time you pick up the paintbrush and how many paintings you decide to paint. Hmmm....something about flying, you don't really have much to do except to think. Maybe it is the oxygen that pump through the cabins that makes me think about paint.
Another interesting things is an article that I read about how now student have an option to go after an international baccalaureate curriculum instead of taking traditional AP classes. This program make student look at how the world is connected and stress on global education in literature, science, and history. In the article, one of the parents who oppose this program in high schools cited her reason because she felt it was un-american because the students are moving away from the traditional AP course which its focus on memorization and mainly US driven academics. To me this article along with many other events that is happening right now are indicators the world is shifting in a bigger way then anyone truly realize or would like to admit. The world is getting smaller and also it is getting more balanced. Information can flow anywhere and can get there so fast that it is now harder to get the truth. Not because there is less truths but because there is less bias. But the acts of getting the truth is hard because you can no longer just get from one source, but instead have to look at the macro information society.
Last interesting thing about this weekend. On Monday three things made me happy. One is a comment left by someone who sometime can just write the right thing at the right time. With that I feel very lucky to know that she exist. I just hope she does gloat just because I wrote this. But then again I have many written cards to show her friends if she does. Second the weather was great today. Sometime when I step out, like today the nice breeze with the sunshine just right and the air so clear that it just feel good to take a deep breath. Man I am going to miss this fresh air. Lastly, I saw the cutest kid on jeopardy. Something about a 12 years old kid with glasses wearing a business suit just make me laugh. I am amazed at how he spoke eloquently which exemplified how advanced he was compare to his peers and yet his suddle action you can still see the youthful 12 year old kid. That you got to say well, that kid's parent did something right and life brings promising people.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Departed
I hear about defining moments for people and I often wonder when things happen to me whether those are the defining moments in my life. I think my decision to quit my easy job in this economy and decide to travel for 3 months and see what that takes me can contribute as one of those defining moments. But as I believe, it is the experience that you absorb during the events that define that experience. It is during those moments that you should often take it in and decide what to do with it. So my preparation for this trip did that for me. Many things during this cleansing process gave me a sense of nostalgia of the events in my life at the bay area. The universal truth about life, the time spend here was filled with both incredible memories and deep heartache. But what sometime you do as you exit an apartment is symbolically for me throwing things out, so I can hopefully bring something in later. At this point I wonder what that is.
So a bit of heartache formed within me with the news that I am leaving the US widens of an already fracture relationship with my mother. Not so much the news of me leaving, but the conversation starter opened up old wounds. I should of known as an adult that picking at scars really don't do much except just remember how you got it. But with a stubborn mother that refuse to see the glass half full, I am left with a portion of my heart a bit more damaged. With time I know it will heal, but the scar tissue with take up room in the heart and in my soul. I often ask God why I deserve this. Then time pass, pick myself up, and dust off the begging questions. Sometime a man is too old to have to go back and sometime a man just needs to forget. The problem with me is that I don't forget. If nothing else, by having that ability would give me a bit more sanity. But when I am away I think I do my part to block things off. But somehow I feel like today's conversation is that defining moment. I had to say to her a portion of what I felt, how I was unfairly treated, and just be me. The result is not good. In back of my mind I would wonder how good of son am I being. Should I just suck it up and continue get emotionally beaned? But at some point I have to start fixing me and stop carrying my mother's burden. A portion of me feel like I am being selfish and a very unloving son. But at my age, I wonder who is there to look out for me when all I do is give. Not sure what the universe (God) would say to me about my actions and thoughts. But this moment I stand behind my actions and let it see how that define my future.
So a bit of heartache formed within me with the news that I am leaving the US widens of an already fracture relationship with my mother. Not so much the news of me leaving, but the conversation starter opened up old wounds. I should of known as an adult that picking at scars really don't do much except just remember how you got it. But with a stubborn mother that refuse to see the glass half full, I am left with a portion of my heart a bit more damaged. With time I know it will heal, but the scar tissue with take up room in the heart and in my soul. I often ask God why I deserve this. Then time pass, pick myself up, and dust off the begging questions. Sometime a man is too old to have to go back and sometime a man just needs to forget. The problem with me is that I don't forget. If nothing else, by having that ability would give me a bit more sanity. But when I am away I think I do my part to block things off. But somehow I feel like today's conversation is that defining moment. I had to say to her a portion of what I felt, how I was unfairly treated, and just be me. The result is not good. In back of my mind I would wonder how good of son am I being. Should I just suck it up and continue get emotionally beaned? But at some point I have to start fixing me and stop carrying my mother's burden. A portion of me feel like I am being selfish and a very unloving son. But at my age, I wonder who is there to look out for me when all I do is give. Not sure what the universe (God) would say to me about my actions and thoughts. But this moment I stand behind my actions and let it see how that define my future.
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